Copernicus, Kepler, Galileo, and Newton were fools, and Einstein was an old communist. As weak and nonexistent as it is, by far the weakest of all supposed forces, much weaker even than the tiniest refrigerator magnet
or itsy bitsy spider, gravity would be an exclusively vertical force only if the earth were flat; and gravity is not a lateral force at all, and the earth is not flat, of course.
was born in 1564, the same year as Galileo, and in all his works he never mentions Copernicus or heliocentrism. He never mentions Gilbert, Kepler, or Galileo. However, he did mention Aristotle and the Christian faith, both of which are geocentric sources.
From sentiments gathered from his plays and details of his life, he appears to have been a Catholic sympathizer, or even a sort of crypto-Catholic, getting by as wisely as would be well in Protestant
England. In "Troilus and Cressida" he wrote "one touch of nature makes the whole world kin" and phrases that fairly should be interpreted as a geocentric and Catholic view of the cosmos: Troilus saying, "as sun to day, as iron
to adamant, as earth to center", and Cressida "as the very center of the earth drawing all things to it."
In the same play, Ulysses says : "the Heavens themselves, the Planets, and this center [the Earth], observe
degree, priority, and place."
The lines "as earth to center", "the very center of the earth drawing all things to it" and Ulysses'
statement would refer to the evident fact that the earth is the only sign that is always in every constellation of the ecliptic. It is between all astronomical oppositions and in every constellation all the time. Therefore, the metaxological character and
isometric view of the heavens from the earth is central and unique.
You Like It", he wrote, "all the world's a stage"; and, like the stage that he meant, the earth is not moving, but the players and their fates are. In "King Lear", he wrote "our foster-nurse of nature is repose", and the stationary earth and the daily rest that it makes possible are mother nature.
In Act II Scene II of Hamlet, it is evident that Denmark is still of the old Aristotelian
and Ptolemaic line. A pre-Newtonian country, where Lord Polonius reads Hamlet's aeriform letter to Ophelia for the court, which says, in part, "doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love."
Doubt then that the sun does move, but not that Hamlet loves Ophelia. Then, ventilated as a coincidental matter, Copernicanism is wrong.
If not for comedy but tragedy, if Ophelia would
be a fool, perpelexed with stupid doubts, she may doubt that the stars are fire, and that the sun does move and orbit the earth, and that the truth is not the truth but a liar, but she should not doubt that Hamlet loves her.
Later in Act II Scene II Hamlet says to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, "and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy,
the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours." Calling the earth "this goodly frame", not this "relative
frame of reference", he likens the earth to a "promontory" with a "majestical roof fretted with golden fire". The metaphors here are geocentric and classical not Copernican.
If it were not clear
enough, In Act III Scene II, the Player King says, "Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round Neptune's salt wash and Tellus' orbed ground, and thirty dozen moons with borrow'd sheen about the world have times twelve thirties been"... Phoebus' cart is
the sun. Tellus is the earth.
And the Player Queen answers, "so many journeys may the sun and moon make ... again ..." In these brief lines, the geocentric cosmology of Shakespeare and Hamlet's
Denmark are self-evident.
Heliocentrism and scientific materialism at times have been little tempests in a teapot, if for so many years after Copernicus. Like rattling stormwinds in a small world,
they have blown some ships off course.
The "Tempest" was Shakespeare's last play, and it retains a classic sense about the human condition and state of man in the cosmos. As Prospero says, "We are such stuff as dreams are made
on; and our little life is rounded with a sleep."
It was written 77 years before Newton's "Principia" and 250 years before Darwin and Marx. The setting of Prospero's deserted isle is like
the world of honest science and honest government, so alienated and exiled from its proper place.
"Vox clamantis in deserto", and some people on rare occasion may make up Shakespearese. Sometimes
it is not too damaging for boredom. Even if it is not very good, it may not be far worse than the Three Stooges, or "I hate it when that happens" --- although things could be quite bad and painful at times. Shakespeare may not have said it, but it could be
close from a distance.
There is the corniness and sometime ouchiness of the state, obviously, and then there is the astronomy of the corny circumstanceas well. People can see that. It only makes
sense, if whatever with bygones of Elizabethan ado.
In Act III, Scene 2, Stephano, Trinculo, and Caliban drink from a keg of
rum near the beach, in another part of the island, away from Prospero's court; and there they plumb the shallow depths of their place in the cosmos.
Caliban: This isle is full of noises, hidden sounds, and sometimes sweet airs that give delight and hurt not. But no womens have I seen other than Prospero's daughter.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices. The clouds methought would open and show riches ready to drop upon me that I could not count.
Stephano: Jupiter or Venus in the sky then, and in this intoxicating sun, where if I look for too long I could almost go blind.
Galileo and Newton were
fools. Kepler and Copernicus too. Einstein was a communist.
(he would sing a little) "Flout 'em and scout 'em, and scout 'em and flout 'em". Come on, Trinculo, sing "2 and 2 are 4, not
5, and thought is free".
Caliban: Is that a tune from this magic book you would call geocentricity? Prospero should not see it. He has enough books already.
Stephano: May the bird of paradise fly up his nose.
Caliban: ... and an elephant caress him with his toes.
of course. (they drink)
Trinculo: You'll teach this poor creature not to believe in gravity, as you were telling me? Are you serious you don't believe in Newton's recognized theory of the system
of the world? How has this island done something so stupid to you?
Stephano: No, certainly not. I do not believe in Newton's theory for fools. Gravity may be an attractive word to people, like
alchemy, and being an atttractive word, it seems to create for some an attractive force, like gravitas. Eh, Caliban?
Caliban: hhhu-aw-aw, gravity and love of parrots in the breeze --- if Prospero's
daughter had a phone number and I could read.
Stephano: How bizarre.
Caliban: of course (takes a folded piece of paper from a pocket
in his "Miami Vice" sport coat)
Stephano: What is that?
Trinculo: (looking at it over his shoulder) "Fervor of love escorts ...
8-6-7-5 and 3-0-9 for a good time call Jenny."
Caliban: Howls my heart, and look at the drawing (howls).
Trinculo: That notice is
not from this island. Where did you get it?
Caliban: Curiosity about its import? No area code. In truth, it washed ashore: a message in the bottle romancing
Trinculo: The wagging oddity's inflamed.
Stephano: From Pluto to Venus, let me see the mail ... (takes it. Caliban
snarls. Stephano examines it then hands it back)
Triunculo: When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Stephano: Well, as we
were, gravitas means weight in Latin. Of course, I acknowledge that weight exists, which may exert force, as it operates with density, mass, and impetus; but I do not accept Newton's theories at all.
one, recall that the earth's a sphere of unique density, and gravity's not a lateral force. Since gravity's not a lateral force, and the earth's a sphere, it's not a vertical one either.
ah, quoquo quaqua ...
Stephano: Not lateral, quoquo, then not radial either, quaqua, since radial force is lateral from the axis at the center.
only way that gravity could be operative on an exclusively vertical plane is if the earth were flat; but the earth's not flat, of course, it goes without saying: we have a sphere here with no equatorial bulge and no squeezed-in polar caps.
Caliban: That's it. ya-ya yo-yo. Thank Jupiter all round.
Stephano: As an ancient and wise Roman
King once said, "telluris ingens conditor terram dedisti immobilem".
Caliban: hmm, Dom Prospero has often begun to tell me what sort of freak I am but stopped and left me to a bootless inquisition.
Stephano: "Conturbare grave et falso auctum", disturbingly burdensome and falsely exaggerated, heliocentrism aggrieves proper celestial mechanics and common sense physics. Isn't that right, Caliban? What
is correct and much better is the classical theory of impetus and momentum.
Caliban: If the world be trained only for fools, then many will be doomed.
Trinculo: Yo-Yo tragical and the looks of you.
Stephano: See, the seasons change, and sorely in these times. Yet tell
me not, when the barrel's out, we'll drink water. Not one drop sooner. Cheers, therefore, bear up and board 'em, servant-monster, and drink to me, you ugly fellow.
Caliban: hhhu-aw, pffaw,
gravity --- curiosity killed the cat ... but satisfaction brought him back.
Trinculo: Servant-monster? The folly of this place! And they say there’s but five upon this isle. We are three
of them. If the other two be brained like us, the state totters.
Stephano: Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee. Thine eyes are almost set in thy head, foul companion.
Trinculo: Where should they be set else? He were a brave monster indeed, if they were set in his tail, for such an
atavistic end: of an uncharted isle set in the middle of the cosmos, and the last resort
of Ptolemy, that would be some fixed-Earth location.
Must we speak drivel, to say that the desert does not orbit the Sun?
Caliban: Cheers! If you will, sirrah, by impetus ...
Stephano: Right, by
the inverse squared of the momentum.
Trinculo: bah, no, and the reptilian-hybrid's so drunk already that he can't talk without spilling the top from his kettle of devil's rum.
Caliban: (spilling and drinking) If I were not thirsty, I'm not sure what I would do?
Trinculo: What an awful beast of fear and loathing he is!
For what would you teach him geocentricity?
He might destroy us all, if he's not set again to his chains. Therefore, get the lock, or this island will be wrecked
like our old ship.
Stephano: Hang fire, old man. He's off the chain now and will not easily be put back on it. Fear and
pray for our assembly, if you will, but this toothsome creature must run his course. (laughing and rubbing the servant-monster's head. The servant-monster laughs, spits, howls, and drinks more rum.)
(singing) It's so hard to keep the smile from my face, since I told you I'm all over the place. Clowns to the left. Jokers to the right. Stuck in the middle. Nothing to lose.
Trinculo: He sings
like a dog.
Caliban: woo hoo, and a crow.
Stephano: Whatever happens, will happen by fortune, virtue, or design. Yet Copernicanism's
of a nature on which nurture can never stick. Isn't that right, thirsty savage?
Caliban: He who would eat it, the moldy bread of Copernicus, 'twill make him sick to queasy, even worse than bad
rum. (Caliban drinks more)
Stephano: Quo fata ferunt, whither the fates carry us, I wouldn't want it, even if it were a biscuit, and I wouldn't smoke the bug either.
Trinculo: Heavens guard this island and its humane society against sordid beasts, malignant spirits, and against all ignorant science.
Stephano: Coconuts and premature
apocalypse, our triumvirate state totters and has fallen away from the truth, if the world would spin from gravity more than rum.
Caliban: Aye, but I would be full of pleasure and jocund to know
that the earth does not orbit the sun.
Trinculo: Even without television (looking at Caliban), I would change the channel.
our eyes and thirsts are bigger than our bellies, that we have more curiosity than capacity; for we grasp at all, and drink too much, but catch nothing but foul wind and confusion.
ha iffthowwa --- thou makest me merry with thy eyes askance. If there were a cookie, I would certainly eat it.
Trinculo: No pickles and no cookies today.
Trinculo: Sorry, lads.
Caliban: Oh, for legion
Stephano: 'Tis no government where there is no science, and bad ones where there's no honor but power hungry and devious minds instead --- and faked moon landings.
Faked moon landings! Ha! ha, ha, and I'll go to Mars!
Stephano: Moon-calf, speak and barf again in thy vitals, if thou beest a good beasty boy.
Caliban: Hhrrar, pfuaw --- How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
Stephano: Which way goes the moon?
Caliban: From east to west around our isle, of course, clockwise when spectated from above the North pole with Santa and his elves.
Trinculo: What astronomy quoth
he! That a monster should be such a natural.
Stephano: Ha, this devil knows the way of the moon better than NASA and the Federal Reserve scam. In vino et aquae vitae veritas!
With a lonely castle and the stars this could almost be Camelot.
Caliban: Yet so, the gods keep well hidden the means of
life, else we would do easily work enough in a day to supply a full year.
So why labour
with sorrow by day, and perishing madness by night? (He drinks more) The gods have laid sore troubles on me.
Trinculo: Even without working, things
for us would seem stranger still. Woe is us, moody as the world turns. Are we not lost?
Caliban:(Caliban drinks then speaks) ... t-ooku t-ooku teeki taka. t-ooku t-ooku teeki
Stephano: Erica Kane's long gone, it's true, and all our cousins, except this servant-monster breed here. If we but had the budget from NASA, we could send him to Mars for cookies and whipped
(A crystalline voice ringing out of thin air says, "that was 'All My Children' not 'As the World Turns'.")
Trinculo: Wo, that
sounded from another sphere.
Stephano: What frequency was that?
Caliban: No wonder I sometimes
howl myself to sleep at night. This isle is enchanted with spirits.
Ariel: Odd angles, three, how now, moodies?
Trinculo: A hidden
sprite plays some mischief with us from the trees?
Stephano: Who goes there? Where are you?
Ariel: It's only wind chimes and the
trees. They call me, "the Breeze".
Stephano: It's coming from that way, up there. A monkey and wind chimes.
Ariel: ha ha ha, creatures for a day! What is of man that was not but a
shadow of a dream? Three fools like you cannot catch me, but as you will, if for rum, come and see.
sound is going away; let's follow it, and after later do our work.
(Following the voice, they wander up an elevation off the beach to the woods.)